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The Truth Behind What's Really Holding Me Back...

What is holding me back? That is a great question! I feel like the answer that I want to say to this question is lack of money. The reason I say that is because it is an easy way out, a cop out. This answer frees me up for taking responsibility for my lack of action and effort. It is easier to blame outside circumstances as the reason why I am not where I am in life, but the truth is I am holding myself back. I am holding myself back with excuses, such as having no money. Accountability is a hard thing to do.

When I think about it most of us weren’t really taught

accountability or what it even means, and how to live by it. The truth is most people is power lack accountability themselves so where were really going to learn what it means. I am not putting this on other people, that would be an example of lack of accountability. Instead, I am saying I use the excuse of others and their lack of accountability as a reason for my own. I am not holding myself accountable for what I do or don’t do as the reason for what I am not where I want to be. I am the reason for my life the way it is, I am the reason why I do not currently have the life that I really want. Part of me is scared to really show up because of who and what I will lose, but I think most of all is who I will have to become to get there. This would mean the lack of excuses, conscious effort and actions to achieve my dreams. It would mean holding myself accountable to do the things necessary to get there. It would mean stepping out of my comfort zone and trusting in the unknown. It will mean I may open myself up to criticism and the judgement of others, all the things I do to stay in my comfort zone even though it is painful there.  It will mean me speaking my truth and speaking up for myself, another thing that I learned to not do.

The truth is I don’t want to live in my comfort zone anymore, I am out growing it. It is becoming more uncomfortable in the known versus the unknown. Deep down I know once I face the uncomfortableness I will be met with freedom, joy, and the life that I truly long for. So, no more holding myself back, it only serves my mind, not my heart or my soul. Now I live for my soul and heart and teach my mind to lighten up and go with the flow. Unless it’s an immediate threat, I got the rest covered. Well until next time…

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